Often the thing that has held me back from posting my artistic process is the continual thinking that there is a certain way of doing things, a "code" of some sort. That there is a specific way to create (see above). I did these and if I may add, I really liked them. However, my "style" is not in this archetype. It has a certain character to it but maybe more so it has a space for me to “be”. Even if that means it's got some hard or soft strokes in the piece.
I subscribe to the belief that there is someone out there doing it better, bigger, and more consistent than me, and therefore, what does it matter if they know or see my process?
The disciplines and conventions of reaching some sort of technical ability never did become the end goal for me, it was a journey, a space where I can “let go”. A place where I can sit and explore the variations and combinations of colors. Somewhere, along the way, I started to get caught up in the “not enough” belief that said, I was years behind, never quite reaching the artist’s height. That belief didn’t sit well, so I would truck along and seek out some different teachings that were friendly and fun. Since then, I can say, it’s been restorative to take one step at a time and not have the welling of emotion sit thinking that there is this “end goal”…ex. Sell more, have attained awards, enter galleries, etc.
Finding "my artistic style" doesn't look like the pictures above but more like the pictures below. The I’m-not-sure-about-this-mess. Let's just say it's not always pretty but you'll get there. By God's grace, you can be a little messy too…and brave enough to create even if it isn’t perfect.